The other day I was out shopping and happened to overhear one woman say to another woman:
“You haven’t changed a bit!“
I’m assuming they hadn’t seen each other in a while, but even still it got me thinking.
Is this really a compliment?!
I’m not so sure.
It could mean that the person saying it is…
…lying; they are just trying to be nice.
…only looking on the outside (but really who wants the same hair they had in the 80s?).
…searching for something else to say.
…not really caring if they insult you.
…stretching because really they have no clue who you are.
Or, all of the above.
Sure you can still have the same goofy smile or laugh; and yes, your sense of humour is as warped as ever.
But as you go through life, you change and grow—it’s inevitable. Even those who resist it, still change.
Imagine standing at your 25 year high school reunion.
Would you like someone to tell you that you haven’t changed at all? Seriously?! Who wants to be exactly like they were in high school? Not me that’s for sure.
In fact, I think it could be taken as quite an insult to tell a person that (in fashion sense alone).
So before you tell someone they haven’t changed a bit, look deeper.
Ask questions. Be curious. Be interested in who they are now. And then compliment them on that!
… you admire their strength, their persistence, their loyalty, their wisdom, their integrity in a tough situation, etc.
Your reason for being alive in this time and space on planet Earth is to learn and grow (aka change). You are doing it whether you want to or not and so is everyone else.
If you are going to compliment someone (and you should), be real about it. Be authentic. Be sincere. They’ll appreciate it so much more.
BTW: You are particularly awesome today. How ever do you manage to do that? 🙂